You guys, there are eight days until NaNoWriMo.
I’m not sure how this happened.
So, it’s time to prepare? By outlining, and making character sheets, and getting ahead on schoolwork, and stockpiling chocolate like some responsible person?
Of course not. Hey, at least this year I have a plot. That’s better than sometimes. Plot the second, if you’re curious, thanks to much prodding from some of my lovely YWP friends. I have to admit, I’m excited. Which is why I’m writing this post, instead of finishing the Harry Potter one I had planned. But I’m also a procrastinator, which is why I’m writing at all instead of doing important things. It’s a common writer’s ailment.
So on art sites, there’s a thing where to get pumped for NaNo you make a calender that reflects the state of your sanity as things go along. Usually pretty funny and keep you updated on the amount of words you’re supposed to have written. I don’t know how to make calenders, but I figured I could come up with some semi-witty quips. So I’m going to schedule what the next month is going to look like.
Day 1- 1667 words- I LOVE WRITING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT
Day 2- 3334 words- You mean I have to do this every day?
Day 3- 5001 words- Okay, I’m getting the hang of this. Steady work. I’m like professional. I’m doing so well.
Day 4- 6668 words- Hahaha. Won’t I laugh when all those frivolous partiers are still shallow and I’m published. (You mean I really have to spend my Friday nights locked in my room?)
Day 5- 8335 words- I can’t write now! I’m watching Doctor Who/Firefly/Sherlock/whatever.
Day 6- 10002 words- You know, I think my story could be benefited by including some pirates… ones who sing really long drinking songs… yeah…
Day 7- 11669 words- I can’t tell if I’m hungover from caffeine, chocolate, or whining protagonists.
Day 8- 13336 words- Has anyone in my story developed multiple personalities yet?
Day 9- 15003 words- What was I thinking with that whole multiple personality thing? I need to get this story back on track.
Day 10- 16670 words- I can’t read the handwriting of my outline. Was it that important in the first place?
Day 11- 18337 words- Writing? Pssh, I’m building a fort out of blankets!
Day 12- 20004 words- Have I introduced any quirky side characters yet?
Day 13- 21671 words- What day of the week is it? Am I supposed to be at school? Am I supposed to have written anything coherent?
Day 14- 23338 words- My ears seem to have grown around my headphones. How odd.
Day 15- 25o05 words- Halfway there! I’ll reward myself with a shower.
Day 16- 26672 words- Can’t give up now.
Day 17- 28339 words- Have I killed any quirky side characters yet?
Day 18- 30006 words- There is no shame in inviting some foreign spies into my novel about now.
Day 19- 31673 words- Step outside for some reason. Become very confused by the sunlight. Go write some more.
Day 20- 33340 words- I can remember the words to every single one of my guilty pleasure songs, but can I remember how to spell my protagonist’s name? Probably not!
Day 21- 35007 words- I’m really confused as to why I’ve signed up for this and why I can’t stop. Time to have some existential angst about novelling.
Day 22- 36674 words- Can I still get Halloween candy for cheap?
Day 23- 38341 words- One week left! How much sleep does one person need, anyways?
Day 24- 40008 words- I think it’s high time I killed off my protagonist.
Day 25- 41675 words- I’d try to figure out how many words behind I am, but my brain is far too fried for math.
Day 26- 43342 words- Is it time for a cake break yet?
Day 27- 45009 words- Word war time- all night long.
Day 28- 46676 words- I fell asleep in class, but I worked out my plot hole!
Day 29- 48343 words- Is it bad that I hear my character’s voice from the corners of dark rooms?
Day 30- 50000 words- I’ve forgotten how to write conclusions, but I’m about to remember what it’s like to have a life!
Day 31- finished- NaNoWriMo withdrawal. I forget my purpose in the world, sob on the forums, plan for my next novel, and have sudden amnesia about just how terribly difficult all that was. Hurrah!
And if you think that got less original as the end grew closer, that was done intentionally so that you could see the deteriorating mental state of the poor writer. Totally. *nodnod*
